4th May 2020
Nope – that’s not a tennis result and certainly not the fight result.
It was just me and my own thoughts up and out of bed at 5.30 am this morning. I couldn’t really get sleep last night – sat up watching Netflix till around 1.30 – and here I am on the long walk from the dressing room to the ring.
Yep, the crowds are cheering me and shouting amazing notes of support. My team in the corner are all well experienced with me 100%, so no doubts there – none.
But jeez, this has now hit me – here, right now for the first time really. A proper life-changing day.
I’m going to a specialist unit for cancer treatment – my cancer. Not to visit mates of mine that have been through this in the past.
Of course, all the prior month build-up, tests, procedures, doctors meetings – blog posts and musing have been published on line. People, friends, acquaintances from my wonderings around the world have made contact – some I haven’t been in touch with, in years. It’s a warm feeling.
But now today – it’s real.
I’m not scared, my faith in the medics and family is all the trust I need – but I still get emotional and have a little cry to myself.
But I’m not feeling sorry for myself either – I fear more for my dearest and closest that need my support too. I’m a husband and father and a step-father, and no matter what’s happened along the way – there are responsibilities that are always there.
Cancer. It’s such an emotive word.
But really in this day and age, the knowledge, drugs, technology and care are so much more advanced. The odds are on my side. Let’s face it – we all go in the end, one way or another.
I used to drive 35,000 miles a year over 12 years in one job. More chance of a fatal on the M6 or the foggy M62, I used to reckon.
Crossing Monivong Boulevard by Central Market in Phnom Penh was another life-threatening act – every time!
And perhaps the way I always envisaged (and nearly did) die, was in a real sleazy bar in downtown Saigon. Now that would have been cool…
So that’s all off my chest and I’m feeling much better for it.
Climbing up into the ring now. Just hope I don’t trip over the bloody ropes and knock myself out, before I throw a punch 😉
Love to you all x